Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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