"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
