One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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