I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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