I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
