i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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