Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
