he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
