aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
