it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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