Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
