How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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