Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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