just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
