a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
