Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Randomize
