shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
