i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
she pinky promised me she was 18
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
