We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
