I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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