Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
