I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
