Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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