Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
