What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
