bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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