dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
