I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
