So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
