They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
