So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
