Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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