guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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