she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
