Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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