I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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