I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
