I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
