If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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