Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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