the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
