Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
