We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
