This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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