OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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