Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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