Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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