Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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