When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
