Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
