I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
